Politeness

What is politeness really based on? One of the most common ways of studying linguistic politeness is the conversational-maxim approach. The six maxims according to Leech are tact, generosity, approbation, modesty, agreement and sympathy. Using these to gauge levels of politeness makes sense, but it could also be a rather inaccurate way of doing so.

In certain parts of China, requests are made very directly. The first time I went out with a few friends from China, I felt rather uneasy because of their directness of speech. When ordering food in a restaurant, it is normal for the diners to say (I can't type Chinese here so I'll use the English equivalent), "I want to eat this", "Get me some sauce", or "Why is our food taking so long?"

If one analyses that with the tact maxim, it is considered rather impolite. Those requests could be rephrased thus: "I would like some of this", "Could I have some sauce please?" and "It's been quite a while and our food's not here and I'm wondering if anything's the matter?" These rephrased versions seem to 'minimise the cost for the hearer', and is hence considered more polite.

I have learnt from some of my friends from China that the so-called more impolite way is the norm back there. They do not intend to be impolite. They are also not trying to issue commands on purpose. On top of that, in a normal context, if they were spoken to in that manner, they would not have found it impolite. It is simply the way they speak. If this is the case, it all boils down to a cultural difference. It will be unfair for one to judge this culture as being more impolite than others.

One cannot take Leech's maxims as a one-size-fits-all mould to analyze other cultures. I think each culture has their own linguistic rules that govern what politeness is, don't they?